He sat there with head down and speaking in monosyllables. The fact that he was depressed didn’t need a doctor to diagnose. He told me that this is a very hard time of the year for him; the holidays were especially difficult. The truth is he was the third person that day who told me almost the same words. While most people rush around looking for the perfect gifts, many battle the demons of depression and mental illness. Not everyone has a joyous attitude for this festive time of year and raising the bar on the holiday spirit for everyone should be a goal we all embrace.
How can we help others during the holiday season?
- Stop stressing out! This is supposed to be a happy time of the year but everyone around you can feel your stress. There are no “perfect” gifts. In fact, some gifts may be just corny or weird but that is OK. They will be the most remembered ones.
- Don’t overspend; set a budget. Many people go all out with spending and then are hit with depression in the new year when the bills start rolling in.
- Remember that others struggle with the holidays. Try to be aware of those around you and be considerate of their particular circumstances. Not everyone has parents to go to when the holidays come around. Some may be completely alone.
- Try to give happiness and not trying to make yourself happy. When you walk around with a “jingle bells” look on your face without caring about anyone else,, you will make someone else feel more unhappy. Yes, be cheerful but share that with others.
- Find someone who has no one else over the holidays and do something for them. If you have a co-worker whose parent passed away during the year or earlier years, do something for them, take them out or anything to fill that void that they now have.
- Watch the alcohol intake. Many people bring out the alcohol when the festivities start. Go easy on it for the sake of yourself and others. You don’t want to be the uncle who was arrested on New Year’s Eve for drunk driving. That legacy will be with you forever and no one will ever serve you alcohol again when you visit them.
- Don’t push. Some people don’t want to enjoy the holidays for whatever reason. You cannot force cheerfulness into someone. Be nice to them but also leave them alone if that is what they want.
- Donate! There are so many needy people all over the world and so many causes that need funds. Pick one or a few. But, don’t just let the suffering and poverty continue without at least contributing something. If you ignore the suffering, you don’t really have the holiday spirit, just like Scrooge.
- Spend more time with loved ones rather than more time shopping for them.
While many struggle with the holidays, we all have opportunities to help make it easier for them. We may think that we don’t know anyone who is having troubles but we do. We just may not know it because they haven’t said anything. If we make it our usual practice to be empathetic and caring, it doesn’t matter if we know who they are or not.
Let’s all work on raising the bar on the holiday spirit and let’s start with ourselves. At this time of the year, just being nice to someone may save their life. And that is the best gift, better than anything that can be purchased at a Black Friday sale. Who is ready to spread the cheer?
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2016 Linda Girgis, MD, FAAFP
