Is Bullying More Destructive in the Digital Age?

Stories abound of young people driven to suicide by the constant torment of bullying. Bullying existed for ages but do we yet know what truly motivates bullying? Many experts seem to know, yet I see patients in my practice who felt they were bullied but were told by adults that they were not.  While the psychological toll bullying places on its victims amplifies, is it becoming more destructive in the digital age?

By definition, bullying involved unwanted and aggressive behavior. It must include an imbalance of power where the bully is realized to be more powerful whether physically, by the possession of embarrassing information, or by popularity. This imbalance of power is then used to control or hurt others. The bullying behaviors must also occur repetitively.

TYPES OF BULLYING:

1. Verbal: this includes saying/writing/texting/posting mean things and can include name-calling, taunts, threats, and unwanted sexual comments.

2. Social or Relational bullying: This form of bullying aims to harm a person’s reputation or relationships with other people. This occurs by excluding someone, telling someone not be friends with another, spreading rumors or humiliation tactics.

3. Physical bullying: This involves actual physical harm to a person or their possessions. It can include hitting, kicking, pushing, tripping, spitting, punching, breaking objects and making threatening hand gestures.

The statistics are truly harrowing. It is estimated that one out of every four children in the US is bullied on a regular basis. Students in grade six through ten were the most likely to be involved in bullying, according to a recent survey. Other surveys reveal that cyber-bullying is increasing both on school premises and away from school. More concerning is the fact that almost 80 percent of kids reported being bullied on-line at some point. Some believe that it is this increase in cyber-bullying that has led to an increase in teens in the US, both homicides and suicides. Approximately 35 percent of teens admit to being threatened on-line.

According to the CDC, suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens.  Approximately 4,400 suicides occur each year in this age group and many more attempt to take their lives, unsuccessfully. Roughly 7 percent of high school students attempt suicide each year. A study conducted by Yale University revealed that bullying victims are 2 to 7 times more likely to consider suicide. According to statistics reported by ABC news, almost 160,000 kids stay home from school every day out of fear of being bullied. The link between bullying and suicide has been clearly revealed.

Many schools across the US have taken a hard stance against bullying. But, it is not enough. Despite their anti-bullying guidelines, many schools do not enforce them. I saw a teenager recently who felt bullied by a group at her school. While she was not suicidal, she did have thoughts of it and took to cutting. Both arms had cutting scars running up and down the length. Her school, who had anti-bullying guidelines in place, “talked” to the others involved and determined that they were just name calling and could do nothing about it. This is bullying, plain and simple. Despite their pages of anti-bullying rhetoric, they could not even define it. This is unacceptable.

What can be done?

• We need to all be aware of the epidemic of bullying that exists in our society. If we are blind to existence, we will not be able to do anything to stop it. And we must stop it because our nation’s children are dying because of it.
• Schools need to step up and take the lead. They are the ones who see all the kids coming through their doors. In the case of my patient, they felt they were doing the right thing by protecting the majority of students. No, they are responsible for the well-being of each and EVERY child that is being educated in their institution. If one is harmed, that is a failure and they need to make new guidelines.
• Parents need to be on the look out for signs their child may be the victim of bullying. Often, I see teens who are depressed. We all know teens are not fans of talking to their parents. I find many of these so-called depressed teens actually bullying victims.
• We need to understand the bullies. Often, they are suffering themselves and lash out their own pain. If we cure the bullies, we would not have any bullying victims.
• We need better communication. Kids need to be able to tell their parents and parents should report any concerns to school officials. The silence surrounding bullying needs to stop.

In the past, bullied kids could come home after school and get some respite but that is no longer the case in the digital age. Now, kids spend much time in the virtual world and their bullies follow them right up to their rooms. The fact that bullying can be done on-line and through social media, makes it all the easier to do. It doesn’t take so much courage to attack someone from a computer screen as it does in person. And it can be done anonymously. Some people don’t even know who their bullies really are. Additionally, bullying instances can be made to go viral spreading it to many others. In such a situation, the victim becomes isolated and feels helpless. And when that happens, others fear helping the victim because they fear being stigmatized. People get trapped into feeding the bully, without sometimes even wanting to or agreeing with it.

The digital age exacerbated the bullying epidemic and cyber-bullying ramped up the toxic effects. Unfortunately, the digital age is here to stay and this epidemic becomes harder to police. Few states even have laws governing cyber-bullying and the ones that do, do not have an easy time enforcing them. New laws need to be drafted and enforced. Too many teens are suffering and dying while we all wash our hands of the guilt. When will we stand up and demand protection for our nation’s minors?

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2016 Linda Girgis, MD, FAAFP