Newspapers often carry pictures of newly minted medical students at their white-coat ceremonies. It is that moment when their long sought dream of becoming a doctor is actually being brought to realty. My school never had a white coat ceremony but I still became the wearer of the white coat none-the-less.
The white coat carries much symbolism in medicine. Some people have certain protocols of the length of white coat that should be worn by different ranks in the healthcare system: such as, the intern wears the short one. For the most part, I have not witnessed this carried out in most places I have trained or practiced. People may attach a certain respect to the white coat. For me, it is merely something with pockets to hold my prescription pad and pens and to protect my clothes from being splashed with other peoples’ bodily fluids.
While being inside that white coat is still a respected professional, few people understand what it is like to carry that responsibility of making life and death decisions. People do not know that doctors are not super computers with all the answers and that medicine is not an exact science, but sometimes merely an art form.
As a doctor, I witnessed babies taking their very first breathes in life, and witnessed many people take their very last. I listened to dying mens’ and womens’ very last words on earth. I treated patients who were so poor they carried all their worldly possessions around them in a paper bag. I treated the very rich, high-ranking politicians. I treated the homeless, those who owned several mansions, those middle class workers who struggle from pay to pay check and people from all walks of life in between. Patients come from all over the world and allowed me to be their physician. It is a great honor and blessing to bear witness to these moments in others’ lives.
But, the toll of witnessing so much human suffering takes a toll on most doctors. Some learn to turn off their emotions and may appear cold and unfeeling. They truly are not but just utilizing this defense mechanism to cope and continue practicing medicine. Some become cynical and no longer experience joy in their careers. The increasing number of doctors retiring at an earlier age bears witness to this sentiment. Many more doctors hold tight to their emotions and only let them out behind the scenes when no one else is watching.
Much is expected of doctors in terms of behaviors and morality. That is why it is so shocking when we see in the news stories of doctors who committed terrible deeds. We are expected to act professional at all times and be the model of integrity. And I don’t suggest that there is anything wrong with that. However, people forget that we are humans as well. My practice is open 12 hours most days and still people call at 9 PM and become upset that we are not still in the office.
Being a physician is a great privilege that we worked very hard to earn. Yet, there are times when we feel trapped inside the white coat.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2015 Linda Girgis, MD, FAAFP
